What does it mean to be in love? In the novel In Country, Samantha explores this question through her own and others' love realtionships. How is love represented in other books and media across cultures?

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Discussion

Heading: Teenage love Date: 2002-04-11 23:11 From: Bill Dovico Since no one else has writen in this one... Dating and having a boy/girlfriend while Coming to age is important to many teenagers. I beleive it's the first time teenagers start forming a indentity that is all thier own, grant it there are many influences on a childs development but dating is very important for popularity, self esteem, learning about ones own feelings and so on. How important is love/dating in other countries, is it as hiped up as the U.S.? I know some cultures don't have a huge emphasis on dating, what is it like else where?

Heading: RE: Teenage love Date: 2002-04-12 14:14 From: Biz Englebert I agree that in America, dating (starting in about sixth grade) becomes a big deal. However, a lot of the time i think it is a lot more about social stayus than anything. At least at the schools in my area, people often dated others who they didn't care about, for the specific purpose of climbing the social ladder. In this sense, it was important for our young cuture, however, most kids didn't learn anything about dating until the end of high school, and even then some of them didn't catch on.

Heading: RE: Teenage love Date: 2002-04-12 14:34 From: JOHAN B€CKLUND The emphasis on dating hasn't been that big here in Sweden. But, of course, when you reach the age of 11-12 you start exploring this "new" world but it doesn't get serious for a couple of years. But dating is something that has started to build up here, we are very much under the influence of American movies, hence, we adapt the American culture. Dating was something I just saw in movies when i was fifteen ten years ago but nowadays, the Swedish youths have started dating each other. I hope I make any sense at all to you Bill :-)

Heading: RE: Teenage love Date: 2002-04-13 05:44 From: Matthew Curry I agree totally with Biz--in our culture, dating is mostly a social status symbol among teens. My experience in highschool was that if you didn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, then you were lower on the "social ladder." It's kind of hard to explain why, really. I don't know if I could actually put my finger on WHY this was the case, but I noticed that being single meant being alone which, in turn, meant that you were less desirable for some reason. And, also in regards to being a social element, if your best friend had a boyfriend/girlfriend...lots of times there was a severed friendship because the best friend seemed to be more involved in his significant other. I also agree that movies have a lot to do with how we view dating. Johan mentioned that they're influenced a lot by our movies--the same applies here. In my group's movie, we touched upon the subject of interacting with potential boyfriends/girlfriends...check it out once we get it uploaded! (shameless movie plug)

Heading: RE: Teenage love Date: 2002-04-15 04:55 From: Denny Suh In Korean society, I observed that dating is usually frowned upon until post highschool. Highschool students are expected to study and prepare for post secondary studies. They don't have alot of time for social activities. However, current highschool students are beginning to break that trend. Korea is generally a conservative society. Men and Women are seen differently. Platonic relationships are not common. Relationships are based on "collective/group" mentality.

Heading: my experiences... Date: 2002-04-14 05:16 From: Alicia Brown I had a different experience than most people. I really can't relate to Sam in the book because of my different situation. As a high school student, I never really had a boyfriend. I have friends who were boys, but these relationships were completely platonic. I thought that I would never have a boyfriend, let alone a husband and family. My situation changed in college. I fell in love with my first boyfriend, and I am marrying him in a year. I was meant to wait to find him...or so I believe:) Has anyone else had different experiences with love in their lives?

Heading: Alicia, I'm in your shoes. . Date: 2002-04-15 14:20 From: Angela Traver I am just like to, funny, huh? I, too, never dated in high school. When I was a sophomore in college, I tutored this guy and that was all there was to it. I fell in love. Just like you, I believe that I was meant to meet him, for every time little problems arise, we always work things out. I'd marry this guy--I proposed to him a while back but he is the old fashioned type and wants to do that himself. I thought I was the only one who had wanted to stay with her first boyfriend forever. Now I know I am not alone. I couldn't really relate to Sam either--she was too wild for me. I never did that kind of stuff in high school, although many of my friends did. I had friends who would sleep with 41 year old men and that was just disgusting!! So, in a way, I look down on Sam for some of the actions she took in the novel.

Heading: high school love Date: 2002-04-15 16:16 From: Kristin James I am the kind of person who has always depended on another person to define myself. It took me a long time to realize that other people, especially boyfriends were not necessary to finding out who I was. "Love" and dating have really taught me to be the person I am today. Through all my experiences, both positive and negative, I have learned lessons that helped me to come of age and to grow up. Love and dating are an important part of this process, but they are not the only factors.

Heading: RE: high school love Date: 2002-04-15 22:09 From: Alicia Brown You are right Kristin. You don't need a boyfriend to know your true self. My years through high school helped me to find my true self, and none of it revolved around a boyfriend. Some girls today think that high school is not just about school but it is also about dating and friends. Sure this is part of it, but I think that adolescents put too much emphasis on things other than themselves.

Heading: RE: high school love Date: 2002-04-17 14:09 From: Angela Traver Kristen, I concur 100%. I have found myself grappling with trying to be myself and have a fulfilling relationship. It is a lot harder than it sounds since you have to know a lot about yourself in order to make things work. But, through being in love, I have discovered more about myself and my boyfriend is always giving me the encouragement I need to do what I set out to do. In my opinion, that is what love is all about. We stick together and work everything out.